Hi {{First Name|Sheconomist Insider}} 👋 It’s Thamina, Founder of The Sheconomist. This is your bi-weekly dose of celebrating the female economy where I help ambitious, purpose-driven women like yourself flip the script on money, career & wellbeing conventions so you can live life on your own terms.
TLDR:
💔 Are you mourning the woman you thought you’d be by now?
📚 She left Goldman Sachs to write fiction novels
💰 How I'd end up with $5,000,000-$13,000,000 at age 65 just because of my job in Big Tech.
💜 Meet Erica Lockheimer, CEO & Founder of HumanizeHer
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🧪 Freedom Formulas
I just turned 31 and I'm mourning the woman I thought I'd be by now.
Not because I haven't achieved things.
But because I have, and it still doesn't feel like enough. 🫠
When I was 21, I had this crystal clear vision:
✅ By 31, I'd feel arrived.
✅ Settled.
✅ Sure.
Like those women on the cover of magazines who look like they "have it all figured out." (I know they don’t either)
Instead, I wake up some mornings feeling like I'm crushing it.
✅ Multiple six figures.
✅ Living in NYC.
✅ An authentic personal brand.
✅ Working in the freakin’ Empire State Building.
Then by 3pm, I'm spiraling because someone 6 years younger just raised $10M for their startup.
(Despite the fact that I wouldn’t even want to build a venture backed company in the first place)
The whiplash is exhausting.
Because here's what no one tells you about success in your 30s:
You can be objectively winning and subjectively drowning at the same time.
📅 Monday: I'm an educator and role model changing women's lives.
📅 Tuesday: I should have written a book by now.
📅 Wednesday: I got a promotion.
📅 Thursday: My friend from college just graduated from Stanford GSB.
📅 Friday: I'm exactly where I need to be.
📅 Saturday: I'm catastrophically behind.
The comparison game hits different when you're no longer "young and figuring it out."
When 30 felt like a deadline for having answers.
Instead, it just brought better questions.
👉 Like: Behind according to whom?
👉 And: What if the timeline I'm mourning was never mine to begin with?
I've realized - but am still working on coming to terms with the fact that - the woman I thought I'd be by now doesn't exist.
She was a collage of other people's milestones.
A Pinterest board of achievements that looked good from the outside.
The real me at 31?
✅ She's messier than I imagined.
✅ More successful than I dreamed.
✅ More lost than I'm comfortable admitting.
✅ More found than I give myself credit for.
Some days I'm the mentor.
Some days I need the mentor.
Some days I'm writing the playbook.
Some days I'm throwing it out completely.
And maybe that's the gift of 31:
Finally understanding that "having it all together" is a myth sold to women to make us feel perpetually insufficient.
The truth is, we're all just winging it at different tax brackets.
So here's to 31. 🎉
✅ To mourning timelines that were never ours.
✅ To celebrating the mess.
✅ To being accomplished and behind, often in the same breath.
Because maybe the woman I'm becoming is better than the one I thought I'd be.
Even if I can’t see her clearly yet.
I’m so so curious to hear where YOU are at right now! Let me know by answering this poll 👇
Are you also mourning the woman you thought you'd be by now?
❣️ Thamina’s Top Picks
✨ This week’s Moodboard
Post credits go to Manifestation | LOA | Motivation ✨, healingRachelabi, tyler bailey, VibeAndThrive
🤫 You can save this image for inspiration and/or share it on social media. Pls tag me @thaminastoll
💸 Cooking up Wealth
I'd end up with $5,000,000-$13,000,000 at age 65 just because of my job in Big Tech.
Even if I didn't invest another dime from now on.
